Self-Care Time: From Ideal to Real Motherhood
, by Carolina Isabel Gonzalez Hernandez
When we become mothers, as in many other facets of our lives, we are victims of stereotypes.
That selfless and loving mother dedicated 24 hours a day to her puppy. They are ideals that we can inherit or assimilate from our environment and repeat them without putting much effort.
The truth is that I am convinced that we all need a fairy godmother to tell us a little about real motherhood before experiencing it. Not to scare us but to help us feel less guilt.
I remember the first months when Matteo lived next to me and I only had the shower time to myself. Caring for a baby can be physically and psychologically exhausting.
From the outside it may seem easy but it is not and you only realize it when you live it. Babies are surprising and touching but they are also very dependent and that demand exhausts the adult who cares for them.
That 24-hour dependence, which sometimes did not allow me to eat or go to the bathroom or simply respond to a cell phone message, became overwhelming at times.
And then for seconds I felt like I wanted to run away or take a break. At that moment, guilt appeared, judging me for not loving my baby and making me feel like a bad mother.
I thought that those thoughts would go away with time, that I would get used to them, but that was not the case. The need for time for me is still present to this day and the good thing is that I feel less and less guilty.
My past self was not aware that that feeling and those thoughts were going to be there with me in my motherhood.
And that it was normal, I shouldn't feel guilty because moms are also humans and we need a little space.
Only by taking care of ourselves can we take care of babies with good energy and love.
On the other hand, it is not always easy to take that time to disconnect. It can be quite a logistics to delegate the care of our children if we don't have someone to delegate it to for a while.
And perhaps after planning everything very well, there may even be an unforeseen event that throws all your plans overboard.
Then you need the fairy godmother to encourage you: “It's normal, you are not alone in that dynamic. It happens to all of us and you are going to make it.”
If today was one of those days, breathe, relax and flow with the dynamics. One day at a time.
So if you are pregnant or already have your baby in your arms, don't feel guilty about wanting self-care time for mom.
It is a necessity like showering or eating. It is food for mom's soul and recharges her batteries to continue.
Thank you for reading this far!
If you share your experience I will be happy to read you:
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I send you a hug from one mommy to another.
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A hug!
Carolina
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